Posted 11:43 PM by Shane
I have no idea wat to write here... so i should just write something, i guess.. Haha, i wonder how long before someone actually finds out that i have updated my blog...

Today, i was doing CIP somewhere, and Andrew was there with me, and he told me.. "Shane, you've changed... "

Hmm, have i? Maybe i have... I dun really noe...

Somehow, everything just feels so different... " you've lost your naive happiness..." Hmm, andrew, i think u're really a good mirror, and can read people very well.. I agree, somehow, i feel a lot more jaded by a lot of things now. I'm numbed by all the work in school, i dun really know whether i should laugh or cry. Nothing excites me anymore. I feel like i'm pretending to be hyper and high everyday... I'm just acting the role of the clown, and i feel its my only salvation, and "my insanity keeps me sane... (quoted from sandman)". Maybe i'm acting, but maybe i'm not. I just dun like to be unhappy, is there something wrong with that? Many things haf hurt be in the past, the present, and i'm sure in the future as well... Yet the biggest enemy that hurts me the most is myself. I can't even face myself, how can i face the world?

Torn by internal conflicts...

I'm very grateful by the multitude of characters that surround me everyday, and sustains me... Pardon me if i drain off your positive energies, but i'm thankful for all you people who have helped me along the way, and continue to lead me and guide me...

Maybe all this is a dream, and when i wake up tomorrow, all will be forgotten... yet to have experienced it once, i'm thankful...

Have a happy day.